


Constants and Variables

by baeconandeggs, oraceon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Explicit Sexual Content, Fantasy, Light Angst, M/M, Magical Realism, Minor Violence, References to Illness, Romance, Science Fiction, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-03
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-17 22:07:32
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14840043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/baeconandeggs/pseuds/baeconandeggs, https://archiveofourown.org/users/oraceon/pseuds/oraceon
Summary: In a life full of variables, Baekhyun is the one constant in Chanyeol's heart.





	Constants and Variables

**Author's Note:**

> **Prompt #:** BAE250  
>  **Disclaimer: baeconandeggs/the mods is/are not the author/s of this story. Authors will be credited and tagged after reveals.** The celebrities' names/images are merely borrowed and do not represent who the celebrities are in real life. No offense is intended towards them, their families or friends. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. No money is being made from this fictional work. No copyright infringement is intended.
> 
>  **Author's Note:** A relatively short fic from me for this round due to new developments in life tripling my workload, but I hope you all like it regardless! This fic gets pretty... complicated, and to an extent it's meant to be kind of confusing, but I hope no one gets too lost. I'll be happy to answer any questions once reveals are over. Big thanks to the prompter for giving me such an amazing prompt, maybe my favourite one I've ever worked with on a conceptual level. I really enjoyed playing around with it, and I hope I was able to do it justice. And of course, thank you to the BAE mods, who have to put up with my horrible work ethic every year. Your patience truly is a virtue, and God knows I really don't deserve you guys. Thank you for everything, we couldn't do this without you!

Chanyeol opens his eyes with the feeling of cold already settling in his skin. Letting his pupils adjust to the dim lighting of the room, he stares at the blank ceiling, resting his focus on the places where the paint is peeling off in bits and pieces. Eventually he works up the strength to sit up, and he examines his surroundings. He's in some shabby room in a motel somewhere, the walls a pallid cream and the furniture decidedly old-fashioned. Just to be sure, he pulls open the curtains of the window. It's pretty late at night already, but the lights of Namsan Tower in the distance tell him he's still in Seoul at least. There's no calendar in the room, but there is a TV, and Chanyeol turns it on to a news channel. December 31st, 2011.

 

He briefly thinks about how he's finally where he's meant to be again, but the thought fades with the screen as he hits the power off button.

 

Upon trying his pockets, he's able to retrieve a few thousand won notes along with some lint. He thinks about going home for a while, but he can't stomach it at the moment. Besides, he might not even have enough money for the commute.

 

But he does have enough for a coffee, and that's exactly what he sets out for.

 

Luckily there's a Starbucks not too far from the motel. Maybe not his first choice for coffee, but it's better than nothing at least. Entering the warm establishment with its soft lighting and wooden interior, Chanyeol's glad that some things never change.

 

The feeling disappears when he looks at the price list and realises he actually can't afford to get anything.

 

Curling up in one of the corner booths, he tries to ignore the growing hunger in the pit of his stomach. How many hours had it been since his last meal? How does his body account for everything in his life anyway? These philosophical questions act as a welcome distraction from the more pressing issues of whether the motel room was already paid for, and where he'll spend the night if not.

 

He's pulled out of his thoughts by the gentle clatter of a saucer being placed right in front of him. There's a cappuccino and a slice of what looks to be chocolate cake next to it. He glances up, meeting eyes with a boy probably around his age, his hair dyed a burnt umber. He's wearing a black Starbucks uniform fitted comfortably to his body and a warm smile on his lips. Chanyeol swears he's never met him before, but something about him seems awfully familiar.

 

"Hey, didn't mean to startle you. Another customer paid for this and told me to send it to your table, he said you look like you probably need it."

 

Chanyeol scans the room around him, trying to identify someone to thank, but the barista just shakes his head.

 

"I'm afraid he left as soon as he ordered your stuff and an americano for himself. I guess you could try and identify him by that, but there's a lot of men in black trench coats drinking americanos these days."

 

Chanyeol keeps looking at him for a while, knowing he's just putting off the inevitable, but still wishing there was some other way.

 

"Well then I guess I'll just have to thank you then," Chanyeol finally says, putting his hand forward. "I'm Park Chanyeol."

 

"Byun Baekhyun," the barista grins, shaking his hand firmly. He looks around for a moment, and then leans forward slightly. "We don't really get many customers around this time and Heechul seems to be handling the counter fine, so it should be okay for me to hang around."

 

He looks at Chanyeol, and then down at the modest meal in front of him, and then back. Chanyeol takes this as his cue to start eating, and he does, quite aggressively.

 

"You must be really hungry," Baekhyun says, a little surprised, "when was your last meal?"

 

Chanyeol answers the only way he can: with a shrug.

 

He gives him a worried look. "Correct me if I'm wrong but you look like a university student. Do you live in a dorm or with your parents?"

 

He takes a pause from eating to shake his head, his bangs falling slightly into his eyes. "I'm not a student. I live with my family, but I had to leave for some... reasons."

 

Baekhyun's mouth opens slightly, before he looks straight down, embarrassed. "Sorry, I'm- I shouldn't have assumed."

 

He looks really cute when he's flustered, Chanyeol thinks to himself. If only he wasn't in the situation he's in, he'd probably be flirting with him already. But things don't always work out the way you want.

 

"What about you," Chanyeol says, and Baekhyun looks a little surprised at the other actually initiating conversation for the first time, and Chanyeol is a little surprised at himself too. He shouldn't let things go too far, but he can't seem to help himself this time.

 

"I work here part-time, I'm a student at Korea University."

 

"Really? What course?" Chanyeol was never really academic as a child, not touching his homework until he finished practicing an instrument, but he thinks he would have loved to go to uni for music if he could.

 

"Physics, with a special leaning towards the quantum physics side," Baekhyun says, clearly enthusiastic. Chanyeol raises his eyebrows, the irony of it all not lost on him.

 

"Sounds tough, but you look like you love it."

 

Baekhyun nods. "It is, but yeah I do love it." He glances out of the window, where snow has started to fall lightly. "So where are you staying right now?"

 

"There's that motel nearby-"

 

The barista turns back to face him quickly, eyebrows rising comically high. "Oh God, don't tell me you're staying at Kyunghee's? They probably have more rats than guests at this point. You really are strapped for cash, aren't you?" His lips form a flat line when Chanyeol nods, and he pauses, obviously thinking hard, before speaking again. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but you can come and stay at my place for a while. My roommate left recently and I have an empty room."

 

Chanyeol can't believe he said that either. "You're inviting me into your home when you barely even know me? I could be a serial killer for all you know."

 

"By the looks of your financial situation, if there's anyone in danger, it's you." Chanyeol can't help a chuckle, Baekhyun grinning back at him. "Plus, I may not look it, but I can defend myself just fine. And my intuition has never failed me so far, so I'm trusting you." He puts out his hand, staring him in the eye. "If you have a job I expect you to contribute to the rent, and you better help around the house too. Not to mention, I don't really want to spend New Year's alone either," he flushes a bit, before regaining composure. "By the way, do I know you? I feel like I've seen you somewhere before."

 

Chanyeol stares back at him, shaking his head. He doubts he'd forget someone who looked like that. He's beautiful, and already shown himself to be kinder than most in the hour they've been talking now, and if things weren't the way they were, Chanyeol might even let himself fall in love with him. But, in his reality, it's just not possible. Still, the thought of returning to that dingy motel with no money in hand isn't the most appealing idea either. After what must feel like an eternity, he takes Baekhyun's hand, confirming their deal with a handshake. He probably wouldn't get to stick around very long anyway.

 

He just hopes he doesn't regret this.

 

=

 

The calendar page turns, now left on March. The sun has begun to warm the windowsill Chanyeol spreads his fingers across, staring out over the new day. He's got a day off from work today, so he slept in, meaning Baekhyun is already out by the time he wakes up.

 

He stretches, his feet pulling him to the bathroom and then the kitchen. The apartment's small yet homely interior is one Chanyeol has gotten used to quickly, and he grabs some eggs and a pan for a breakfast fry up. Baekhyun had reacted incredibly positively when he found out Chanyeol could cook, since he had been surviving off of take-out and microwavable meals ever since his roommate left.

 

For a physics major, the man seems completely averse to studying, instead opting to skip doing his reading to play another round of some new online game every week; when he's not doing that he's watching a film, or binging a show, or even just sitting around and singing loudly to himself. In these situations he doesn't hesitate to involve Chanyeol, pulling him onto the couch to do whatever he's doing. It could have become annoying, but Baekhyun is just so damn enthusiastic about it all that Chanyeol can't bring himself to mind.

 

It's rare to see him in a bad mood, but he has them sometimes, and this is one of those nights. It's almost 10pm when his keys rattle in the hallway, and he looks tired out from working for hours in the library, last-minute reading for an impending deadline.

 

"Go freshen up, I'll heat up your dinner," Chanyeol says quietly, and Baekhyun nods, trudging away. Chanyeol barely pushes start on the microwave when a loud knock sounds over the whir.

 

They don't really get any visitors, certainly not at this hour, but Chanyeol goes to open the door anyway. When he does he sees a stranger, whose face, in the space of a second, morphs from anger to confusion and then back again.

 

"Can I help you?" Chanyeol asks.

 

The man's eyebrows furrow. "Where's Baekhyun?"

 

"He's inside, he just got home. Are you a friend of his or something?"

 

The man scoffs, a look of disbelief on his face. "If you call the person you fuck around with for months a friend then yeah, I guess I'm his friend. Now let me in," he says, trying to push his way past Chanyeol, but he's having none of it.

 

"You seem awfully hostile, so I think it'd be better for you to come back some other day when you're not so angry and Baek's less tired."

 

"Baek? He lets you call him that?" He laughs loudly, and Chanyeol glances cautiously at the neighbouring apartment doors. "Who even are you?"

 

"I'm his roommate."

 

"Roommate? Is this like when you asked if I was his friend earlier?" He raises an eyebrow but Chanyeol simply stares back, stoic. "Oh please. If you're together just be honest about it. I wouldn't be surprised if he rebounded so quickly, he can't even keep to himself when he's taken, so single? Of course." He takes a step forward, in Chanyeol's face now and eyes wild. "Hey, was it you? The guy I saw him with was tall too but of course that's just his type." He scoffs. "Anyway, you think he's yours now but you better watch your back-"

 

"I told you not to come here anymore, Jisoo," a voice behind them says, and the stranger peers over Chanyeol's shoulder, face morphing into a sardonic grin.

 

"Your majesty," he says, "I'm honoured you ordained to bless me with your presence today. You normally just pretend you aren't in, don't you?" Baekhyun looks at the floor, and Jisoo smiles, obviously feeling victorious. "But today I got to meet this little friend of yours, who you didn't even bother to introduce me to. Care to do so now?"

 

"That's none of your business Jisoo. I'm none of your business. Leave now or I'm calling the police."

 

Jisoo just laughs. "As if you would, you're too soft to do something like that. You still care about me Baekhyun, I know that, since I was the one who left you and all. And this guy right here is just your coping mechanism, I get it. Well when you realise he's not enough for you and you come crawling back to me, I'll happily take you back - if you apologize, of course."

 

Baekhyun stares at him in silence, before whispering a small "Leave."

 

His ex shrugs. "As you wish." He turns to leave, but, before he does, he gives Chanyeol a pat on the back, leaning into his ear, and Chanyeol finally recognises the tinge of alcohol on his breath. "Take care of him for me, alright? Think of this as a loan from me to you."

 

He leaves without looking back, and Chanyeol closes the door slowly as soon as he's out of sight. Once he turns back, Baekhyun is sitting on the sofa, his head in his hands.

 

"You okay?" Chanyeol asks, taking a cautious seat next to him but maintaining a pleasant distance.

 

Baekhyun presses the base of his palms firmly against his closed eyelids and, with a firm breath, leans back in his spot. "Well, now you know why my roommate left."

 

Chanyeol leans back in the same way. "He was being a real asshole though - no offense, I just. I think you are probably a lot better off without him."

 

"Tell me something, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says, now parting his fingers over his eyes and peering through the gaps. "I'm guessing he told you something along the lines of me cheating on him. Say if I _did_ cheat on him, would he have the right to leave me?"

 

"I don't think you're the type of person to cheat," Chanyeol starts, "but if you did, then yeah, I think he has the right to leave."

 

"But what if, say, it was all a really big misunderstanding and I never actually cheated, but there was no way for me to prove it? Do you think I should be apologising for something I didn't do?"

 

"I think if you're telling the truth then he ought to have more trust in what you say, but I get where he's coming from too. So I'm guessing that's what happened?" Baekhyun nods, face otherwise unreadable. "Well regardless, he shouldn't be showing up to your house like this and spouting off all that bullshit at you if he really wants you back."

 

"Is it bullshit, though?" He sits up, looking directly at Chanyeol now. His eyes are red, but that might just have been from the studying. "I'm going to be honest with you, maybe more honest than I've been with myself recently. Jisoo isn't completely wrong - I'm not over him. And I'm not gonna lie, I met you just a few days after we broke up, and when I saw you I did think you could just be my rebound guy. That I could just use you to do the things I did with Jisoo and it'd be like nothing's changed. But it has, and you're not Jisoo." He takes his hand now, and Chanyeol looks at him, surprised. "You deserve to be treated like you, not someone else. I'll work harder on that."

 

Honestly, Chanyeol couldn't tell. Maybe it was because he hadn't gotten to be in a relationship all these years due to his predicament, but he hadn't even realised he was being used that way, and it wasn't like he minded any of it either. Of course, he can't explain all of that to Baekhyun, so he just nods.

 

They eat in silence after that, and when night falls, Chanyeol lays in bed, unable to sleep. Against his conscious will, he had begun to feel comfortable around Baekhyun, and he knows this can only lead to heartache when the time finally comes. But he had been happy these last three months, more than he had been for years now, and he can't help but think this will all be worth it.

 

=

 

He notices the little things now.

 

Baekhyun makes little puppy noises as he's falling asleep on the couch. He likes his room temperature blisteringly hot, wrapping himself in endless layers when Chanyeol turns it down even slightly. He silently picks the cucumbers out of the meals Chanyeol prepares, to the point where Chanyeol no longer even adds them in the first place anymore.

 

His eyes crinkle when he laughs, a surprisingly deep, melodic sound. He has a mole just above the corner of his lip, and another on his thumb, just by the nail.

 

And Chanyeol is starting to see him differently.

 

They've been living together for half a year now, which is longer than he's stayed with anyone but family, so it's probably just a consequence of that. Either way, looking at Baekhyun nowadays still makes his heart beat a bit quicker; and it's not like Baekhyun makes it hard, either.

 

Since the incident with Jisoo, the skinship had reduced, but it would still happen here and there. Chanyeol doesn't mind, in fact he quite enjoys it - especially when Baekhyun realises what he's been doing subconsciously and turns a flustered red.

 

He meets him at school sometimes too. The atmosphere of a university is really something else, and Chanyeol regrets not being able to attend one every time he visits. Baekhyun's friends are nice to him too, although he often feels lost when they start talking about assignments and deadlines and especially when they start discussing equations. That's usually when Chanyeol tunes out, though Baekhyun thanks him for sticking around anyway. Of course, it's not like he has anything better to do all day and getting a job in his circumstances is nigh impossible.

 

"Heechul, you've got a booth saved for us, right?" Baekhyun calls out as they enter the Starbucks.

 

"Hey, just because you aren't working today don't think I'm not going to tell you off for making a ruckus," Heechul says, pointing them to a corner regardless.

 

Baekhyun slides into the seat first, and then the others follow, with Chanyeol being the last to get a seat on account of his lanky legs. This, of course, left him with the task of ordering. "Hey Heechul. The usual for everybody, please."

 

"Of course," he says, with a sincere smile, "nerd squad usual," he calls out to another young employee.

 

Heechul is doing his masters in music at KU, and he honestly seemed incredibly relieved when Chanyeol first arrived on the scene. "They're all science and maths students, they practically speak another language," Heechul had told him a few months ago, and Chanyeol consistently feels inclined to agree.

 

"By the way, my Seagull should be coming in soon so if you want to take the Takamine off my hands you can."

 

Chanyeol's eyes widen, and he nods. "Is that okay with you?"

 

"Of course, I've had Anna for so long and it'd be a shame to watch her collect dust. Better you take her and give her the attention she deserves. She's in the back, let me just get her out for you." He disappears into the storage room for a moment, returning with a guitar case. "Here she is. Take good care of her, alright? She's done a lot for me."

 

Chanyeol nods, slinging the bag over his back before taking the substantially heavy tray in his arms and slowly proceeding towards the table. "Jeez, took long enough," Minho says.

 

"Hey now, let him live. He gets one respite from all us squares and that's Heechul over there," Seulgi points. "Without him to talk to Chanyeol would probably explode from having to listen to us all the time."

 

Shaking his head with a grin, Chanyeol finally comes to focus on Baekhyun, who's staring at the guitar intently. "Are we finally going to hear you play, Chanyeol?" He asks, and the others look at him expectantly.

 

"I need some time to practice," he says, tapping his foot nervously.

 

Reaching over the table in what looks like a kind of uncomfortable position, Baekhyun holds his hand. "No rush. Take your time."

 

Chanyeol likes to practice when Baekhyun isn't home. Feeling the strings under his fingers makes him nostalgic like nothing else, back to when he'd learned to play off his dad. It gets hard to think about his dad nowadays, especially when he knows his parents will be getting a divorce at some point in the near future. But the satisfaction of nailing a hard to play chord lets him forget about all that for a moment. He hasn't played in front of anyone for many years now, and the prospect of doing so in front of Baekhyun is both terrifying and exhilarating. It shouldn't matter so much, but he really hopes Baekhyun will like it.

 

Summer rolls in hot, the sun sweltering in the air. They'd met with the others for a picnic along the Han River, and everyone busily got to feasting on the kimbap Chanyeol had spent a while making.

 

"I swear, Chanyeol, you should open your own restaurant instead of just working at one, these are too good," Seulgi says, taking another mouthful. "No wonder Baekhyun looks so healthy nowadays, since he gets to eat like this every day."

 

"Maybe you should teach Seulgi some of your skills and she'll finally be able to cook something edible," Minho says, scarfing down his own share and wincing when Seulgi elbows him in the side. "What? I'm just thinking of your well-being."

 

"Very funny," Seulgi rolls her eyes. "Anyway, I can cook just fine, right Baekhyun?" When she doesn't get a response, she turns towards her friend with a look of betrayal before noticing where he and Chanyeol are now looking. "Shit," she mutters under her breath before leaning to whisper into Baekhyun's ear, "what is he doing here?"

 

"It's sunny out," Baekhyun says, shaking his head. "He's probably just here to enjoy it like the rest of us."

 

Minho finally realises what's going on, and his face settles into a frown. "I swear to God, if he keeps following you like this he deserves what's coming to him." He makes a gesture with his fists, until Baekhyun lowers them gently.

 

"I think he's coming this way," Seulgi says quickly.

 

Chanyeol, who had been silently observing the situation, noticing every tiny twinge of discomfort shown on Baekhyun's face, thinks it's high-time to act. He puts his food down in front of him, and very deliberately takes Baekhyun's hand in his. Baekhyun stiffens, giving him a glance mixed with confusion and an uneasy warning of "be careful". Chanyeol gives him an understanding nod, and then puts his arm around his shoulders. He then turns to where Jisoo is standing, no expression on his face at all save for his eyes, which seemed to dare him to take another step.

 

Jisoo stops in his tracks, taking in the scene before him. Seulgi and Minho give him sneers of their own, and this time, Baekhyun doesn't even acknowledge him. After a few seconds he shakes his head in disbelief, turning on his heels and lighting a cigarette as he walks away.

 

As soon as he's out of sight, Chanyeol begins to pull his hands away, but Baekhyun envelops them in his. "Thank you," he says quietly. Chanyeol opens his mouth to reply, only to be interrupted by Minho whistling.

 

"You know, if I didn't know what you just did there was an act for that asshole, I'd absolutely think you were really together. Is there something you guys aren't telling us?"

 

Chanyeol flushes. "No, it's not like that," he says, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand, since Baekhyun still hasn't let go of his other one. "Right, Baekhyun?"

 

"Right," Baekhyun says after a moment, finally releasing his grasp on Chanyeol.

 

Seulgi raises an eyebrow at the way the two of them then awkwardly shift back into their own spaces, but says nothing. Instead she gives Minho a knowing look, which she finds reciprocated, and decides to go back to eating.

 

When they get home that night it's already dark out, and both of them are pretty tired but not wanting to go to bed just yet. They settle for watching a movie together, after which they'd call it a night.

 

Sometime between the midpoint and the credits Baekhyun falls asleep, curling into Chanyeol's already sleeping side. Chanyeol's hand moves to stroke his hair out of instinct, and Baekhyun leans into his touch. After a while like this, Baekhyun opens his eyes and begins to pull away, startled, until Chanyeol holds his arm to stop him.

 

"You can stay here, I don't mind," Chanyeol says, his breath heavy. Baekhyun stares at him in surprise for a moment before resuming his position. "It might be more comfortable for you like this," Chanyeol whispers, shifting his body so Baekhyun's head lies flat against his chest. He's sure Baekhyun can hear the quickening pace of his heart, but it's not like he minds that.

 

"Chanyeol," Baekhyun says, not moving from his spot, his voice reverberating on Chanyeol's skin. "That thing you did in front of Jisoo today. That was just an act, right?"

 

"I don't know," Chanyeol replies curtly. " It was meant to be, but it didn't really feel like one, did it?"

 

"No, it didn't," Baekhyun shakes his head. "Chanyeol, be honest with me. Do you like me?

 

"I've never liked someone before so I can't tell," Chanyeol sighs. It's the truth of course, but it sounds kind of pathetic when he says it out loud. Closing his eyes shut, he decides to take a bit of a leap. "But I'm pretty sure I have feelings for you. Just don't ask me to describe them. And you?"

 

Baekhyun sits up drowsily, and once Chanyeol turns to look at him he leans in, leaving a lingering kiss on his lips. His hand moves to Chanyeol's chest, where his heart is beating faster than ever, and he whispers in his ear, "Do you know now?"

 

The truth is Chanyeol had known it subconsciously for a while, but he had held himself back. His rule had been not to get too close to anyone, but Baekhyun makes disobeying so tempting. He's still looking at him with those expectant eyes, waiting for an answer. Chanyeol's never been the best with words, so he decides on another course of action. "Hold on," Chanyeol says, walking swiftly to his room and coming back out with his guitar. "Can I play for you?"

 

Baekhyun nods, smiling. Chanyeol's hands shake a little before he starts playing, but eventually he just lets the mood and the music carry him. It's a song he'd been writing over the last few days, his first since the accident in fact. He hadn't been motivated to write for all these years, but something about being around Baekhyun made him feel more inspired than before.

 

"Did you like it?"

 

Baekhyun stands up from where he is, taking drawn out steps, and Chanyeol is pretty sure of the answer even before he hugs him. "I loved it. Thank you," he looks Chanyeol in the eye. "So was that your answer to my question?"

 

And Baekhyun is pretty sure of the answer before Chanyeol kisses him back.

 

=

 

It's late at night when Baekhyun returns home from college, and as soon as he's in the door he heads straight for the couch, landing with an unceremonious flop.

 

"Hard day?" Chanyeol asks, setting a bowl of soup on the table.

 

Baekhyun mumbles something into the arm of the sofa before flipping himself over to be better heard. "Wasn't hard, per se. Just exhausting. A few of us got into a pretty heated debate about the logistics of time travel."

 

Chanyeol stops dead in his tracks, before recovering with what he hopes sounds like a casual laugh. "So what side are you on?"

 

"I believe it," Baekhyun says, "Or at least, I think it's possible." He takes a piece of paper out of his pocket and passes it to Chanyeol without opening his eyes. On closer inspection, it's covered with lines and messy handwriting. "The number one opposition to time travel that people have is that if you change the past, it will affect the present in such a way that nobody will go back to change the past in the first place."

 

"The Grandfather Paradox," Chanyeol says. He'd done some reading of his own on this topic, of course.

 

"Right. But this is assuming that everything that we do we do of our own free will, that is to say that we have any. I don't think it's so clear cut. Look," Baekhyun leans over, pointing to one of the diagrams he'd crudely dawn. There are two dots, connected by one thick line, and several other lines curving around also joining the two. "What if the outcomes are always predetermined? Say we do have free will, then we can choose which path to take, but we'll always end up in the same place."

 

"So like the difference between fate and destiny?"

 

Baekhyun grins, nodding. "Exactly, you can choose your destiny, but you can't change your fate. You can even turn it into an equation if you want. Constants and variables, that's all it is."

 

Chanyeol ponders to himself, and Baekhyun seems to notice, sidling up to him.

 

"You okay? You seem out of it." He hugs him, but Chanyeol says nothing. "Say, dinner can wait. You maybe want to have some fun first?"

 

He shakes his head. "You're tired, and it's important that you eat. I'm going to hit bed early, if you don't mind." He walks out of the room before Baekhyun can even answer.

 

Later at night, when Baekhyun finally joins him in bed, Chanyeol pulls his body close, enveloping him and hoping that if he holds him tight enough, nothing will ever change.

 

=

 

It's a quiet morning in 2015. Rain patters against the windows, the harsh sounds of the traffic below muffled into ambient noise before they breach the walls of the apartment. Baekhyun and Chanyeol are fighting again.

 

"I don't understand why it's such a big deal," Chanyeol starts, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun from behind him, but he's not having any of it.

 

"It does matter, Chanyeol. I'm in love with you, and I'd even want to marry you if I could," he escapes his embrace. "But you just aren't being honest with me. I see when you get upset but when I ask, you don't tell me anything. We've been dating for nearly three years now, but it still feels like there's a wall here."

 

Chanyeol lets out an exasperated scoff, running his hand through his hair. He knows it's true, but he can't just admit it. That wall is the last set of defence he has in case anything does happen and breaking it would leave him fully vulnerable. Not to mention, Baekhyun wouldn't ever believe the reasons behind it being up.

 

"It hurts, Chanyeol. You make me feel like a stranger to you," Baekhyun crosses his arms. "How am I supposed to help you if you never let me in?"

 

"It's pointless Baekhyun, you'd never be able to help," Chanyeol says, frustration building up inside.

 

Baekhyun opens his mouth, eyes tearing up slightly, before shutting it again, speaking through tightly held lips. "You're right, I might not be able to. But you don't even give me the chance to try." Baekhyun starts to pace as Chanyeol sits down. "How is that fair? That I'm so honest with you all the time, that you know all of my faults and fears, but you won't tell me even one of yours? It gets exhausting, feeling like the broken one in the relationship all the time." He stops where he is, leaning against the wall, a sardonic expression masking his features. "Sometimes it feels like you're just putting up with me for the sex."

 

Chanyeol goes to where he is, framing his shoulders with his arms. "We both know that's not true." He leans forward so their foreheads touch, so close that their breath mingles and their eyelashes land just shy of brushing each other's cheeks. He wants to tell him, but he won't be believed, and things will probably only get worse if he divulges the full truth - about how he's afraid he'll lose everything every time he falls asleep. "I'll tell you the truth tomorrow," he concedes, settling for a half-empty promise for now.

 

Baekhyun clearly doesn't buy it. "The longer I've spent with you the easier it is to tell when you're lying." He ducks under Chanyeol's arm and heads to bed, yawning into his palm. "We'll talk more tomorrow, after the party."

 

Chanyeol accepts defeat, getting into bed and sighing when Baekhyun faces away from him. Maybe he'll feel better tomorrow, since it's his birthday after all, and Chanyeol can try to make it up to him.

 

∞

 

He opens his eyes, and his heart sinks as soon as they focus.

 

There are birds chirping outside, their songs light and airy carried by the breeze. Chanyeol feels sick to his stomach. He's in a house, but it is not his own, in fact it's one he's never seen before. Leaving the bare bedroom he's in he heads straight for the TV remote sitting on the otherwise empty coffee table sat in the middle of the room, his hands shaking as he fumbles to turn it on and go to the news.

 

His legs begin to give way underneath him, and he manages to land on the couch just before he loses balance completely. For a minute he sits in silence, and then the tears come. He sobs aloud, uncaring if anyone hears, spiteful towards the universe which had treated him so cruelly, cursed him for life with an incurable affliction which he did not deserve.

 

But then, this heartbreak had been his own fault, too. He had known the consequences of getting too involved with someone when his life is like this, but he hadn't hesitated to welcome him into his arms and his bed and his heart. He had been foolish to grow complacent, thinking his ordeal was over simply because nothing had happened in so long, longer than ever. The very fact that he slept peacefully at night and expected to see Baekhyun's sleeping face every morning was just testament to the false hope he had allowed himself to believe in.

 

And of course, he'd been selfish. He had taken Baekhyun's love while he could, knowing he could disappear before being able to pay it back. To Baekhyun's eyes, he had left him suddenly after their argument, with no explanations. Chanyeol sighs, wiping his tears. If this was destined, then in some ways, it's good it happened now. Baekhyun can still live and love for years to come, just not with him. If it had happened a few more years down the line, it would have been much worse, for both of them. This is what Chanyeol says to himself as he sits up, taking a deep breath. It could have been much worse. This outcome is painful too, but if Baekhyun can find happiness, it's okay. Even if that means forever playing the villain in his mind, Chanyeol's ready to accept that. At least, that's what he tells himself.

 

It's 2027, and Chanyeol surrenders to his fate.

 

=

 

Chanyeol stays in the room for several days. Thankfully it's stocked with enough food to last him, and there's even clothes in the wardrobe for him to change into.

 

Eventually though, he has to leave. Taking the elevator down he realises this is some sort of apartment hotel. He goes to pay at the desk, but they tell him his room was paid for in advance. He thanks them and leaves. Somehow, wherever he ends up, he always has the right things to deal with the situation. It doesn't make much sense, but it's not like he's complaining either.

 

He doesn't know how long he'll be here, though, and he'll have to figure out somewhere to stay in the meantime. He's thinking about all this when he hears a voice yell out at him. He stops just before the road, the driver of the passing car giving him a mean look as he speeds off.

 

"You alright," the stranger says. His hair is permed and fluffy, adding a few centimetres to his short stature. They look to be around the same age.

 

"Yeah I'm just," he shakes his head. He pulls out the oldest line in the book, his prototypical answer for situations like this. "I'm new to the city and I don't really have anywhere to go."

 

"Well then you're in luck," the man says, his lips curling up at the corners of his mouth. "I just moved here a few days ago too. There's a house that lodges a couple of guys like us until we can get on our own two feet, that's where I'm staying. Does that sound interesting to you?"

 

Chanyeol agrees to follow the guy, as he seems genuine enough. It's not like he has any other options, anyway.

 

=

 

The guy, Jongdae, really is pretty genuine. Despite Chanyeol's best efforts to keep completely to himself, Jongdae seems very enthusiastic to be his friend, and his energy reminds Chanyeol of Baekhyun in many ways.

 

But in many ways, they're different, and Chanyeol doubts he could ever see Jongdae as anything more than a friend, and it's clear Jongdae feels the same. "We both have hang ups," he tells Chanyeol after catching him mid-breakdown. "All we can do is try to keep going."

 

Jongdae gets a job as a singer in a jazz lounge not too far from their accommodation, and when he finds out about Chanyeol's proficiency with instruments, it's only a matter of time before they're both performing there a few nights a week. At first the owner lends him his guitar, but eventually he purchases his own, a relatively cheap model for the tight budget he has to live on. It's not as light, and the sound doesn't quite have the same smooth sharpness that Anna did, but it's as good as it's going to get. He couldn't bring himself to name this one, though.

 

The lounge is right next to another university, and Chanyeol gets hit on by quite a few people while he's there, declining each of their propositions with a smile. Jongdae doesn't miss it, teasing him when they get off work. As opposed to him, Jongdae accepts some of the dates, but he says they don't really lead to much, but he doesn't mind it. Chanyeol doesn't really understand it, but it seems to make Jongdae happy at least.

 

He's a singer, clearly with some background in music already, and you can hear the professionalism in the way he navigates even the most complex of melodies without much effort. When they get their relatively basic pay, Chanyeol wonders why someone with as much talent as Jongdae doesn't just leave and go somewhere more deserving of his talents.

 

"I like jazz," Jongdae shrugs the question off when Chanyeol asks him between their sets, but bends when it's obvious he isn't satisfied with that answer. "I don't know, being locked into a long contract like that, it's not for me. I have problems with commitment, if that makes any sense. I guess I'm scared of putting so much time and faith into something, only for it to disappear the next moment." He sips his drink, swirling the cup in his hand. "Besides, I'm not in this for the money anyway. I'm just happy I get to sing for people at all. As long as I've got a roof over my head and food in my stomach, I'm fine. Not to mention we'll be able to buy a computer by the end of this month, what more could you want?"

 

They go out and choose a computer together, splitting the cost between them. So far they had been surviving with pretty rudimentary phones. A few nights later, once Jongdae's asleep, Chanyeol turns the laptop on, the machine whirring to life with some noise. As soon as he can, he gets to Google, telling himself that while the odds are low that anything would come up, it's still at least worth a shot.

 

He types "Byun Baekhyun" into the search bar.

 

It takes some scrolling, but he does eventually find some news on him. He's apparently quite acclaimed in his field already. At the moment he's attending conferences in the States.  Apparently his speciality is studies on time, and Chanyeol can't help but laugh to himself.

 

He's glad. Baekhyun is now leading a successful life, and that's all he could ask for. He just hopes he's happy, wherever he is.

 

"Chanyeol, you're still up?" Jongdae yawns, dragging a slow hand across his eyes. Chanyeol jumps a little but fails to close the window in time before Jongdae sees it. "He's cute. Is that your boyfriend?" Jongdae asks, squinting at the screen.

 

Sighing, Chanyeol decides to vent a little. "Kind of. We never broke up, but I haven't talked to him in years."

 

Jongdae looks at him in silence for a moment, before placing a hand on his shoulder. "Bad fight?"

 

"Not really. Life just got in the way, I guess." He turns his head up to catch Jongdae staring off with a distant look in his eyes. "Something like that happen to you?"

 

"Yeah, something like that," Jongdae says, still obviously far away, before snapping back into reality and facing Chanyeol. "Listen, I know it doesn't feel like it now, but you'll learn to live with it. I'm not going to lie to you and tell you that it gets better, that the pain goes away, but you definitely get better at dealing with it."

 

For someone who couldn't possibly know what his life was like, Jongdae's advice seemed incredibly personal, and Chanyeol appreciated that. "Thank you," Chanyeol says, but it rings a little hollow, and Jongdae doesn't miss it.

 

After that night, he doesn't search anything about Baekhyun again. He still thinks of him, that's something he can't help, but he works now, to distract himself from that. He starts writing music again, something he hasn't done since before the accident, and for a little while, it helps. His daily schedule becomes routine and, before he knows it, he's celebrating his 24th birthday with the small group of friends he has.

 

∞

 

He doesn't feel much when he wakes up somewhere new. He'd taken an oath not to feel too much ever again, for the sake of his own sanity. He's on a train, he realises, and it's just rolling into Platform 4 at Suwon Station. He reckons he should probably get off, so when it comes to a halt, he does, finding a ticket in his pocket to let himself out and emerging into the cold night air. All of a sudden, there's a very deliberate pat on his shoulder.

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

The voice is unmistakable, and all Chanyeol can think to do is run, so he does. If he's seen as the bad guy then so be it, but he can't bear to see the hurt he inevitably left reflected in the eyes of the love of his life.

 

"Chanyeol, wait!"

 

Baekhyun's chasing after him, but he's older now, he can't keep up with him forever, Chanyeol tells himself. He turns into an alley, and Baekhyun's voice follows him.

 

"I know everything Chanyeol, please stop! I know about your time skipping!"

 

He stops in his tracks, not sure whether he's quite heard that correctly. He turns to finally face Baekhyun as he walks towards him, hot breaths making little clouds of condensation with each short exhale. His boyfriend is just as beautiful as ever, nothing much about him has changed except the now deep brown hue of his hair. Chanyeol can't move even as he embraces him, unable to understand.

 

"I know you're confused right now," Baekhyun speaks muffled into his chest, the way he so often used to after a fight. "Let's go home and talk about it, okay?"

 

=

 

Nothing much about the place has changed in the 7 years it's been since Chanyeol left, just like its owner. Photos of the two together are still hung up, Chanyeol's rilakkuma plush still lies around wherever, their PS4 now shares its space with what looks like a PS5. There are significantly more take-out menus lying around now though.

 

"I'll make you your usual," Baekhyun says, pulling out their matching name mugs from the cupboard.

 

Chanyeol nods, taking a seat but still feeling a little dazed. Baekhyun brings him his mug of black coffee, 2 sugars, no milk. He takes a sip, and it's just like what he knows. He hadn't lost his skills from his barista days, evidently.

 

Baekhyun smiles, perched on the sofa opposite him, the tiniest tinge of awkwardness in his posture. "You okay?"

 

"You knew," Chanyeol says, understanding setting. "You knew I was going to land here now, hell you knew I'd be at the train station so you were already waiting there."

 

The older man's lips form a line, and he nods. "I did."

 

"How?"

 

He smiles a little, but his eyes betray a hint of sadness. "You told me."

 

"But I didn't-"

 

"You haven't told Baekhyun yet," he begins, placing his hands on his knees and smoothing out his jeans. "But you'll meet me again soon, me from four years ago, and you'll explain everything to me. Where you've been, what's been happening to you, and when to expect you back again."

 

Baekhyun takes a sip from his own coffee as Chanyeol responds with a contemplative silence, only to reply, "and you believed me?"

 

"No, I didn't. I thought you were playing some sick joke after abandoning me," he laughs, but for Chanyeol, the words hurt an infinite amount. "But then you told me something you had no way of knowing, and I just couldn't explain it."

 

Chanyeol raises an eyebrow. "What did I tell you?"

 

Baekhyun looks at him for a moment, then reaches into his own pocket, pulling out a tattered old piece of paper, barely still in one piece. He slides it over the coffee table, and Chanyeol picks it up.

 

It's a Starbucks receipt, dated 31st December 2011, ordering an americano, a cappuccino, and a slice of chocolate cake. More eye-catching are the words written over the bill in a messy hand.

 

"The man who ordered your food on the night we first met told me to hold onto this receipt no matter what, and for some reason I did. Do you understand what happened?"

 

Chanyeol processes the information loaded onto him carefully, reading the receipt over and over in an attempt to burn the information to his brain. "Do you know if I travel any other time after seeing you?"

 

He nods. "Yes. You'll spend exactly a year in the far future, in 2069, but you didn't tell me much about it."

 

He makes a mental note of that. "And how long am I going to be here?"

 

Baekhyun smiles. "Two months." Chanyeol frowns, disappointed. "Hey," Baekhyun stops him, placing his hand on his knee, "I've been waiting for these two months for a long time, and they're going to be perfect."

 

Chanyeol feels his heart clench, and he takes Baekhyun's hand in his. Baekhyun squeezes his back.

 

"By the way, how old are you now?"

 

"24," Chanyeol says.

 

"God that's weird," Baekhyun shakes his head, "You're a year younger than you were when I last met you."

 

"Does this technically make you a cougar then?" Chanyeol says, smirking. Baekhyun leaps on him and he laughs, finally feeling a sense of normalcy falling over him again. He knows it won't last, but he'll happily delude himself for as long as it does; because Baekhyun kisses just the same as he did 7 years ago, and for now that's all Chanyeol cares about.

 

=

 

Time moves quickly, faster than either of them want, but they spend as much of it together as possible. During the days, they go out on the dates they'd been robbed of all those years: picnics with the grass between their fingers, coffee shops with bittersweet kisses and amusement parks were how they spent their days, and their nights were filled with sweet nothings and hours between the sheets. Baekhyun had taken a 2-month sabbatical in preparation, making the most of the time he knew he had.

 

The final day comes, and they spend every waking moment of it together, doing nothing but just enjoying each other's presence. As they lay in bed together, hand in hand, Chanyeol thinks of how life would be if he just got to stay like this forever.

 

"I'll see you soon," Baekhyun says as he begins to drift off, and Chanyeol just watches him for a while until he too succumbs to sleep.

 

No matter how many times he's had to say it, goodbyes never come easy.

 

∞

 

He's expecting it this time, but it still feels hollow in his chest when he opens his eyes to an unfamiliar ceiling, Baekhyun nowhere to be seen. At this point, it's a dull ache. He sits up, resting his head in his hands. Just one year, he tells himself.

 

The room he's in is small, sparse and clean; and smells slightly like medicine. He goes to the door, unsurprised when it opens into a hospital. It's a busy ward, with people bustling this way and that, and Chanyeol just stands among them, lost.

 

Eventually a nurse stops next to him. "Do you need some help, sir?" His voice is kind, and he's relatively short in stature, dwarfed by the scrubs maybe a size too big for him.

 

"I don't know," Chanyeol decides to reply honestly. He looks around, trying to understand why he had been placed here.

 

The man looks on at his confusion, eyebrows furrowing slightly in a look of sympathy. "What's your name, sir? That might help me figure things out for you."

 

Chanyeol nods, glad for the instruction. "Park Chanyeol," he says, at which the nurse's eyes widen slightly, to his own surprise.

 

"If you'd like to follow me, please," the man nods, and walks swiftly through the wards. Chanyeol follows him, through what feels like a maze of endless corridors of clean white, dodging and weaving through those also making their way through the labyrinth. It's familiar though, somehow, but only later would Chanyeol realise this is the hospital he'd been admitted to after his accident. "Here," the nurse says, gesturing towards a door. "We are technically outside of visiting hours, but I think it's important that you see him. I'll be out here, don't worry. Go ahead."

 

Looking between the door and the man's face in confusion, Chanyeol eventually musters the courage to push the door open, and what he sees when he does makes him freeze in his place.

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

"Yes Baekhyun, it's me," Chanyeol says, somehow managing to push the words through his lips. But this Baekhyun is different. He'd known there was no way Baekhyun would still look young so many years into the future, and he had prepared himself for that, but he could never have prepared himself for this. Baekhyun's face is tired, and his body skinnier than before. Multiple tubes connect to him in various places, tangling his tiny frame among them. His head is covered by what looks like a small bandana, and Chanyeol can guess that underneath it he's lost his hair. "What happened?"

 

He makes a gesture to come closer, and Chanyeol does. He would be 77 now, but when he smiles, Chanyeol thinks, it looks just the same. "I was beginning to doubt this day would ever come," he says, and now Chanyeol can hear the years of loneliness in his voice. "You look just the same. Did you come here straight after seeing me?" He holds out his hand, and Chanyeol takes it, nodding. "I guess you did tell me something about this year. I'm glad I was able to fight the leukaemia, even if it was just to see you again."

 

"But I should have been here, Baekhyun," Chanyeol says, air catching in his throat. "I should have been here and I should have fought it with you. But you were here, all alone."

 

"I wasn't completely alone," he says, concernedly trying to reassure him. "Junmyeon was here, the nurse that I think you just met? And I had guests too. Some people you don't know, and then Heechul came by, and Minho, even Seulgi visited during her vacations from France. Even Jisoo turned up a couple times, with his family."

 

This catches Chanyeol's attention. "Jisoo came?"

 

Baekhyun nods. "During the time you were gone... he got in touch with me, a little later. He believed me then, said he was a fool for ever thinking that way in the first place. Even asked if I wanted to give him another chance."

 

"And what did you say?" Chanyeol asks, staring at their hands clasped together, feeling a pang of pain and jealousy in his chest.

 

"What else could I say," Baekhyun laughs. "I told him I couldn't love him like I did once, not anymore. Not when I had-" he stops, and this is when Chanyeol notices the tears in his eyes. He blinks them away quickly, though. "Anyway, it all turned out for the best. Jisoo's grandson just started university, and he calls me granddad too. There's no hard feelings there."

 

"But are there hard feelings here?" Chanyeol says, gesturing between the two of them. "I all but abandoned you. More than 40 years. Why did you wait?"

 

"Because I believed you'd come back," he says. "And you did."

 

"Too late," Chanyeol shakes his head.

 

Baekhyun pushes his chin up with a finger, still as pristine as in his youth. "Better late than never," he smiles. "And anyway, it wasn't your fault, none of this was. To blame you for it helps no one." Chanyeol opens his mouth to complain, but Baekhyun stops him. "It was my decision to wait, Chanyeol. I take responsibility for the life I've led. It was hard at times, but it was better than living a lie for all these years."

 

"But you deserved so much better, Baekhyun," Chanyeol starts. "If you had never met me in the first place, you could have lived a happy life. If I'd have never slipped you that damn receipt-"

 

"But you did, didn't you? Everything happens for a reason Chanyeol. This is our fate, predetermined by the universe. I'm just glad I got to spend the time that I did with you." Chanyeol doesn't reply, and Baekhyun squeezes his hand in his, just like he always did. "What are you thinking about?"

 

"How long I have here until I'm moved again," Chanyeol says. "You've waited all this time, and what if I'm only here for a month, a week? What if this is the last time you'll see me, Baekhyun?"

 

He looks at Chanyeol now, really looks at him, almost 50 years of pain buried in his eyes, before he smiles with no joy behind it. "I've spent all these years alone, Chanyeol, I can deal with a couple more."

 

There's a knock on the door that grabs both their attention, and they see Junmyeon peeking in. "I'm going to have to leave now, but if you're quiet, you can stay with him overnight if you'd like. But it's imperative that you stay quiet, Mr Park, my job is on the line here."

 

"Of course," Chanyeol says, and Junmyeon gives him a knowing look before closing the door behind him.

 

"Junmyeon's a good guy, huh," Baekhyun says. "I talked about you, to him. Didn't go into details, obviously. But he knows how important you are to me."

 

Baekhyun talks to Chanyeol, then. Tells him his life story in the years Chanyeol will never get to see. He worked solely as a researcher for some time, travelling from country to country, before eventually settling down and taking a lecturer position at KU, teaching the same modules he had studied all those years ago. He had gotten 2 dogs, a corgi and a poodle, and they kept him busy at home most days. He still hadn't learned to cook well, but the family living in the apartment next door invite him to have dinner with them every night, so things aren't too bad, even if he misses Chanyeol's cooking sometimes.

 

"Can you play for me?" Baekhyun asks him one day. He points to a corner of the room, where a guitar sits in its case, collecting dust. "It's been so long." Of course, Chanyeol obliges, and Baekhyun's face brightens. "You've gotten even better somehow. Have you been practicing?"

 

Chanyeol nods. "I was in one place for a while, and I got a job at a cafe playing part-time," he strums the familiar strings. "I wasn't as used to that guitar as I am to Anna though."

 

With a soft smile, Baekhyun nods. "Nothing could replace her, right?"

 

Chanyeol looks at him, struggling to smile himself. "Nothing."

 

This is their routine, for a whole year. Baekhyun's treatment progresses, and he's soon able to sit in the cafeteria with Chanyeol to eat instead, but it's a slow process. But he never runs out of things to say, and Chanyeol never grows tired of listening. As the year-mark approaches, they prepare themselves. Baekhyun tells him it'll be fine, that Chanyeol will see him again soon anyway, and the pain will fade as quickly as it comes.

 

As sleep takes him, Chanyeol regrets that he can't promise Baekhyun the same.

 

∞

 

It's rare for him to wake up outside, but he does, occasionally. This is one of those times. He's wearing a trench coat, a hat, and a mask covers his face. He can feel change in his pocket, and he has a pretty good idea what he's meant to do with it.

 

The Starbucks is not far from where he landed. It's late, but the lights are still on, and people are walking by with drinks in hand, ready for the New Year's festivities. Chanyeol walks against the crowd's current, just about managing to squeeze into the building. Just as expected, from the corner of his eye he sees his younger self, unaware of everything that is about to happen. He wishes he could warn himself, but there would surely be consequences for that. Regardless, he came here now with a job to do.

 

Baekhyun is behind the counter, oblivious to the thoughts running through his head. He makes the order, lowering his voice slightly, watching Baekhyun in silence as he works diligently, close enough to touch and yet so far away. He gets his patented customer-smile as he hands over the cash, and Baekhyun hands him the receipt. Taking the pen he had found in his coat pocket, he writes down the message exactly as he had been told, having memorised it as carefully as he could. He thinks about not doing it, but then Baekhyun's words from a year ago echo in his mind, and he pushes the message over the counter with baited breath.

 

"Here, keep this," he says, and Baekhyun looks confused. "It's incredibly important that you hold onto that receipt and don't let anyone else see it. Promise you will?" Baekhyun gives him a suspicious look but nods, folding the paper and tucking it into his pocket. "By the way, the cake and the cappuccino are for that kid sitting in the corner. I don't think he's doing too well right now, so if you don't mind talking to him..."

 

His words make Baekhyun's eyes travel to the corner of the room, and then he gives an understanding nod. "Got it." Chanyeol leaves, taking his americano with him. "Thank you for choosing Starbucks, sir," he hears Baekhyun half-yell out behind him, but he doesn't look back.

 

∞

 

When he awakens this time, it's in their room.

 

He sits up immediately, heart hammering in his chest. Baekhyun isn't in his bed, but his phone is lying on the bedside table. It's early in the morning, but that's not what Chanyeol cares about. The date on the screen reads May 6th, 2018.

 

Before he can even compose himself, the door to the room opens.

 

"Chanyeol?"

 

"Baekhyun, I know you might not want to hear what I have to say but you need to listen to me," Chanyeol says, watching the love of his life walk towards him with an unreadable expression. "I can explain-"

 

The slap stings harsh against his cheek. Baekhyun looks at him with all the vitriol Chanyeol expected him to have when he met him in the hospital. "You disappear without a word, without even picking up my calls, for 3 fucking years, and now you want to _explain_ things to me? Wow, Chanyeol, that's so considerate of you. How the fuck did you even get in my house?"

 

His words hurt, but after being told he wasn't at fault over and over, to Chanyeol this is almost refreshing. "That's what I need to tell you, Baekhyun. I-" He stammers, looking at his feet, finding it difficult to actually say the words out loud knowing full well how ridiculous they'll sound. "I have this condition, since I was 14. I- I go to sleep, and then I wake up in a different year, often in a different place in Seoul. I can't control it, it just happens. I know you probably don't believe me..." he trails off as soon as he looks up, catching the hurt on Baekhyun's face.

 

"You really are a piece of shit, Chanyeol, do you know that?" Tears fill his eyes. "You could have just explained why you left me, truthfully, but instead you think this is a good time for a stupid joke like that? This is how you're going to act after three years of silence?" He sniffs a little, and then wipes his tears away with the back of his hand. "Leave, Chanyeol. Get out of my house now, or I'm calling the police."

 

Chanyeol looks at him, but Baekhyun refuses to return his gaze. Chanyeol stands, taking a deep breath, working out his words slowly as he approaches Baekhyun, tilting his chin up to face him. Baekhyun had told him exactly what to say, after all. "One iced americano, a cappuccino and a slice of chocolate cake," he takes a breath. Baekhyun stares at him, confused. "Underneath the berry tree, that's where I will be. Waiting for the traveller, to come back home to me."

 

Baekhyun's mouth opens, and it stays open while Chanyeol pulls him into a hug. After a moment, he wraps his arms around him too, shaking slightly. "How?" he asks, under his breath.

 

"That man in the trench coat that day? It was me. And future you told me what to say. But no more questions now," Chanyeol says into his neck, "it hasn't been long for me, but I've missed you so much. I can't imagine how it's been for you."

 

He feels Baekhyun's hands on his back tighten to bunch up his shirt, and then they move up, rapid, cupping his face and pulling it towards him, kissing him with everything he has. Chanyeol kisses back just as hard, hands gripping Baekhyun's waist with familiarity as he's backed up onto the bed. "I've missed you so much," he says between kisses. "Every day, every single day I waited for you to show up at the door one morning but you never did. You never came." He stops, sobbing into Chanyeol's chest.

 

"I'm so sorry, Baekhyun," Chanyeol wraps his arms around him once again. "I'm so sorry. But I'm here now."

 

"You won't leave again, will you?"

 

Chanyeol closes his eyes, the tears falling out despite his best efforts. "That's not in my control, Baekhyun. If it was I'd never have left in the first place."

 

Baekhyun pulls back. "Do you know how long you have here?"

 

He sighs dejectedly. "A week."

 

His mouth opens, then shuts quickly, turning into a deep frown. "Why us, Chanyeol, why you? I don't understand this. There has to be some way to stop it, there has to be."

 

"If there was don't you think I would have by now," Chanyeol asks, exasperated. "I get pulled around like a ragdoll to all these places, and the one time I let myself grow close to someone, that gets taken away from me too. But there's nothing I can do about it, this is my fate."

 

At this Baekhyun looks up, the words having sparked something in his mind. "There has to be reason, it can't be random otherwise you could end up in any time, in any place. But you're always in Seoul, right?" Chanyeol nods. "When's the earliest and latest you've ever been transported to?"

 

Chanyeol has to wreck his brain a bit, but finally he remembers the dates. Earliest was 2007. Latest was 2084."

 

"So these are years that, say if you were still born in 1992 and had a normal life, these years could be within your lifespan. Right?" He barely waits for Chanyeol to agree. "I think there's a pattern. Remember I told you once, about constants and variables. Maybe you keep landing in these places because they're your constants, even if you had an ordinary life." It's all theoretical, but it makes more sense than any explanation Chanyeol has ever found or made up for himself. "When did it start anyway?"

 

"It was when I was 14, I was in a bad accident. I was legally declared dead for 9 minutes before they revived me. A week later I got moved for the first time."

 

There's a pregnant pause as Baekhyun looks up at him. "You were 14?" Chanyeol nods, and for a moment Baekhyun is speechless. "How did you manage, were their others?"

 

"No, just me," he shrugs. "I got lucky. I was only there for a night before I moved back. But then two years later it happened again, and I haven't been back home ever since."

 

"And you had to keep this all to yourself," Baekhyun says, "even when we were together?"

 

"Being with you made it easier," Chanyeol says, taking Baekhyun's hands in his and feeling them squeeze his, his heart ready to burst. "You helped me forget, for a little while. I guess that's why it hurt so much more when we got separated."

 

The light from the window is two-toned across Baekhyun's face as he looks away. When he speaks, it's barely a whisper. "Did you get close to anyone else without me there?"

 

Chanyeol shakes his head, pulling Baekhyun into him. "Nobody could replace you if they tried."

 

Wrapping his arms across his back, Baekhyun breathes heavily into Chanyeol's chest, taking in as much of his warmth as he could. This time it's Chanyeol who pulls away, placing a hand on his shoulder and tilting his chin up for a kiss. From here, things just fall into place.

 

Baekhyun pulls Chanyeol's shirt off, more than a little in awe of the outcome of Chanyeol's recent workouts. Chanyeol too can't help but admire Baekhyun's newly toned arms, but also feels grateful he hasn't seemed to lose weight without him there to cook his meals.

 

Chanyeol nips Baekhyun's neck in the exact spot he remembers being sensitive, grinning in satisfaction when Baekhyun groans in response, only to gasp through his teeth when Baekhyun does the same with his ear, a dainty hand moving to palm his crotch without hesitation.

 

"How old are you now, do you know?" Baekhyun whispers lowly into his ear, altering the pressure of his touches.

 

"25," Chanyeol whines, until he can't take it anymore, pinning Baekhyun below him.

 

He looks up at him with a smirk. "You're the right age," he laughs, and it's music to Chanyeol's ears.

 

"You just turned 26, no?" Chanyeol says into Baekhyun's lips, before peppering his skin with birthday kisses - from his nape to his chest to his waist. "Happy Birthday, Baekhyun. Sorry for missing the last few."

 

"You're here now," Baekhyun tells him, gasping for air as Chanyeol kisses at the hem of his sweatpants before pulling them down. "Try to make it up to me."

 

Baekhyun's gentle hands turn rough as they tug at Chanyeol's hair when he goes down on him, whimpers leaving his lips as Chanyeol alternates his mouth's attention between his dick and his ass. "Fuck," he says as Chanyeol shifts, leaving him on the edge before curling his tongue around a nipple, his cool hand teasing his ass until Baekhyun can't take it anymore, holding Chanyeol still as he pushes back against him, mouth falling open.

 

Chanyeol kisses him, hot and heavy and hungry. "I've been wanting this, Baekhyun, for so long."

 

"Me too," Baekhyun barely manages to say before his voice cracks into a whine as Chanyeol pushes another lubed finger in. "I've been so alone without you, Chanyeol."

 

"I'm sorry," Chanyeol says, over and over into Baekhyun's skin. "I'm sorry," he says again, taking Baekhyun's dick in his hand and watching him squirm underneath him, and then taking it into his mouth. He feels Baekhyun tensing around his fingers, and there's nothing else like it. Knowing each little change is due to his actions, feeling Baekhyun with all five senses.

 

It's a welcome surprise when Baekhyun stops him, turning them over and lavishing Chanyeol with the same attention he'd just received. He'd always been good with his tongue, and Chanyeol had missed the sinful way his eyes would peer up at him mischievously as he made short work of wrecking him. Once he's done eating Chanyeol out, grinning as Chanyeol's deep voice is reduced to whimpers, he moves to his dick. "Seems like you've missed me too, Chanyeol," Baekhyun says, stroking his erection casually, before taking his cock into his mouth, tongue twisting in just the right ways to make Chanyeol's toes curl. It takes all of Chanyeol's resolve to not just come in his mouth.

 

He pulls Baekhyun up by his shoulders. "What do you want to do?"

 

Baekhyun looks at Chanyeol, eyes half-lidded with lust. "Fuck me this time. We can switch later."

 

Chanyeol is more than happy to oblige, leaning over to the bedside table. There's one pack of condoms in there, but they look like they haven't been touched for a while. He looks at Baekhyun, puzzled, and the man blushes.

 

"Those were the ones you bought before you disappeared. I didn't really have to use them all this time, so." He takes the packet off of Chanyeol. "Stop smiling like that. Anyway, these haven't expired yet. Hey, stop! Why are you smiling?"

 

"Nothing, just glad to know you couldn't replace my dick either," he says, and Baekhyun rolls his eyes as he pulls the condom over him.

 

"You're so immature," he says as he shuffles forward, face hovering over his lover's.

 

"I am," Chanyeol says before kissing him hard, hands running down his sides on their own. "But you still love me."

 

"I do," Baekhyun replies in a heartbeat, catching his breath while he lines himself up, gritting his teeth as he lowers himself onto Chanyeol. He leans forward again. "I do," he repeats into Chanyeol's lips, accepting all of their unwritten vows.

 

Chanyeol thrusts up into him, loving the moans that break free from Baekhyun's throat, feeling them against his skin as he mouths at his collarbones. Normally they'd move around a lot more, but both of them don't want to leave their current position, so they stay like that, locked in each other's arms with as little space between their skin as possible.

 

When Chanyeol comes, they both feel the tremors running through his body. It's Chanyeol's hand that pushes Baekhyun over the edge, lips eating up his whines as he releases between them.

 

They stay like that for a while, basking in each other's presence, simply enjoying the comfortable silence only they share. And for a brief, fleeting moment, they don't have to fear being interrupted.

 

=

 

On their last night together they lay in each other's arms, wishing it could last forever but knowing better than to believe it.

 

Suddenly Chanyeol remembers something that had been on his mind. "By the way, that message. Why did something so small convince you of something so out there?"

 

Baekhyun smiles. "It was part of a poem I wrote, at maybe like 5 years old or something. It was on the first page of the diary I used all through childhood. There was no way for you to know it without me telling you, and so I knew." He sing-songs the poem to himself, before turning to Chanyeol. "Even the words fit perfectly, it can't be coincidence. I don't know how, Chanyeol, but you need to break the circle. Or we'll keep suffering like this for the rest of our lives."

 

"But messing with what's already been done - I don't know what could happen, Baekhyun. I can't even wrap my head around it."

 

"Listen Chanyeol, the universe is putting you in certain places on purpose, so if you see an opportunity, take it. And don't let go," Baekhyun holds him close, and Chanyeol doesn't want to let go now either.

 

"And then?"

 

"We wait," he says. "If it's meant to be, we'll see each other again."

 

Chanyeol lets the words simmer in his head, before simply letting his senses memorise everything around him - the dim light of Baekhyun's lamp, the smell of his cologne, the sound of his deep breathing, the touch of his skin against his own. As he drifts off to sleep with these little things in mind, Chanyeol wonders how many more times he'll have to leave them behind.

 

∞

 

The pounding beat of a club wakes Chanyeol up. That's exactly where he is in fact. The atmosphere is dizzying, claustrophobic even. Chanyeol is not ready to have a night out as soon as he wakes up. He checks his pockets, and there's no phone. It's nigh impossible to figure out what year he's in right now. His head is already pounding, and he squints to try and find anything he recognises in the dim lighting. And then his eyes land on Baekhyun.

 

Relief washes over him as he staggers to stand, feeling drunk off the air alone. Baekhyun looks great - he always does, but today he really made an effort, his eyes detailed with one of the many looks he had seen him adorn while they were dating. It would take some time to do, but he knew Chanyeol liked it, so he used to do it just for him sometimes even when they didn't go out. Chanyeol taps on his shoulder, "Baekhyun?"

 

"Yes?" He begins to say, but he's cut off when Chanyeol leans down to steal a kiss.

 

He's not expecting the impact of the punch and it leaves him nearly floored. "Get the fuck away from my boyfriend," a somewhat familiar voice says, and a tall figure slings his arm around Baekhyun, pulling him away from where Chanyeol sits on the floor, clutching his cheek and tasting blood in his mouth where he bit down too hard.

 

"Who the fuck is that, Baekhyun?" He vaguely hears the man say.

 

"I don't know, he just came up and kissed me. You didn't need to punch him though, you always make such a scene."

 

"How did he know your name then? I heard him say it. What's going on here?"

 

Chanyeol can just about make out a sound of disbelief leave Baekhyun's lips. "Are you serious Jisoo? You're really doubting me right now?"

 

He can't quite hear the rest, as the pain from the hit and the heat of the bodies around him is catching up. He doesn't know if it's possible for his body to wake up drunk, but he wouldn't rule that factor out here. He tries to stand, but the world fades to black before he can.

 

∞

 

He feels a hardness under his back, a cool breeze on his face, before he opens his eyes. He's lying on a bench, in a park which he recognises as the one by his own family home. The day is starting to tend towards evening time, the sky painted a brilliant pink-orange, but there are still children playing here and there, including a few teens playing football. Chanyeol looks at them vacantly, trying to figure out when he is, until he realises that the faces of these boys look incredibly similar.

 

After a moment of pondering he thinks he finally has it figured out, and then sure enough, he sees himself, somewhere in the middle of his growth spurt, having the time of his life. There's an open-top car nearby that's blasting the radio, and Tell Me by the Wonder Girls has just finished playing and the radio host goes into the news section, briefly mentioning the date as April 8th, 2007. This catches Chanyeol's attention.

 

This is the day of the accident.

 

He tries to find an indication of the time, but having no watch on him, he asks the next passer-by he sees. "3 o'clock," the man tells him, and this sets him into a worry. He has an hour to decide what to do. This sort of opportunity may never appear again, but he's not even sure what to do, or what consequences any potential action could lead to.

 

The passer-by sits next to him, pulling his mask down. "Confused over what to do?"

 

His voice is familiar, but the last Chanyeol expected to hear here. "Jongdae? What are you doing here? And-"

 

"Why do I look the same?" His lips curl in that signature grin. "You should know better than anyone, Chanyeol. We're in the same situation after all."

 

Chanyeol stares at him in shock for a moment. "I thought I was the only one - are you telling me there's others like us?"

 

He nods. "There are, and we think you're the last. See, all of us came close to dying on this very day, at the same exact time across Seoul, and I guess things lined up. A few of us met by coincidence and when we lined up our information, that's what we got. You know one of the others I think - Junmyeon?"

 

"Why didn't either of you tell me?" Chanyeol says, anger rising up within him. "Why did you let me think I was going through this alone?"

 

Jongdae holds his hands out in front of him. "You had just been through your first separation, and I didn't want you to cling blindly to a hope that we'd already given up on for years at this point - but now that we're here, I don't have to worry about that anymore. Tell me, did you fall asleep normally just now or did you pass out?"

 

"I passed out," he says, and Jongdae has an understanding smile. "Hold on, I don't understand what you're saying."

 

"All of us passed out, and I think that's why we're here now. I can't think of a better explanation than that, anyway. But I don't think we're really supposed to be here." He brings out a small note. There was a diagram connecting two dots with a thick line, as well as multiple thinner lines. "This is how it would work out, but now that we're all here," he uncaps a pen, drawing a line in another direction completely. "We had decided, if there was even a tiny chance that we all ended up here, we would do whatever it takes to make things go differently. We would stop the accidents from ever happening in the first place, and then the chain would be broken."

 

His proposal reminds him of Baekhyun's words from not so long ago, but also of the problems the action could bring. "But wouldn't that be a paradox?"

 

"It would. Our actions today could mean we tear apart the fabric of the universe itself." Jongdae looks down for a moment, and then back up. "But it could also mean a second chance. What were the odds that we'd meet each other? What were the odds that you'd meet Baekhyun, that you'd land in all the right places at exactly the right times for the two of you to fall in love?" Chanyeol stares at him in silence. "And what about now? This is the universe giving you a chance, giving all of us a chance." He looks up at him, and to Chanyeol's surprise, the man he'd only ever seen laugh is now crying. "Will you take it?"

 

Chanyeol can't bring himself to say anything. After a moment Jongdae looks at his watch, stands up, and runs, not looking back once.

 

He thinks back on what Baekhyun had said to him, what was so recent but felt like an eternity ago, though reverberating in his ears with astonishing clarity.

 

_If it's meant to be, we'll see each other again._

 

And then he sees his younger self, walking out to retrieve the ball from the middle of the road, unaware that his life is about to change forever. The car turns the corner blindingly fast, so fast that there would be no way to dodge it without knowing it was coming beforehand.

 

Chanyeol moves before he can stop himself, pushing his younger form out of the way, awaiting the pain to rip through his spine as the vehicle makes contact, but it never comes.

 

Instead: a single, piercing light, brighter than any he'd ever seen before, and then darkness.

 

/

 

His eyes open to the vaguely familiar ceiling of a living room, his body curled uncomfortably on a couch just slightly too small for him. He checks his phone. There's still some time before the clock strikes midnight, and he might just be able to make it to the fireworks. Jongdae had messaged him where he kept the keys, and he swipes them from their hiding spot as he slips his shoes on, out of the door not even 5 minutes later. There's still a little time left, and right now he feels like coffee.

 

He had been incredibly lucky, making fast friends with a guy willing to let him stay over while the issues at home sorted themselves out. Jongdae was a good guy, and he could sing like nobody's business - he'd heard enough of that through their work together.

 

Surprisingly the Starbucks is still open even on New Year's Eve, and even more surprisingly, it's empty. Chanyeol orders an americano, and the barista at the counter looks at him kind of funny, but Chanyeol takes that as a compliment. The barista is kind of cute after all. And when he takes a seat opposite Chanyeol a few minutes later, well, he doesn't really mind that either.

 

"Sorry, do I know you?" Chanyeol asks.

 

"Byun Baekhyun, physics major at KU. You?"

 

"Park Chanyeol, I go to KU as well. I'm a music major. Nice to meet you," he holds out his hand. Baekhyun stares at it for a second.

 

"Do you really not remember anything?" He watches Chanyeol's face for a moment of realisation but sighs when there is none. "You were at Choi Minho's party on Saturday, right?"

 

Chanyeol nods slowly, already dreading what he's about to hear next, since he got absolutely destroyed that night and has no recollection of what he may have done during that drunken stupor.

 

"I'm guessing you don't remember," Baekhyun says, looking embarrassed at this point. "Um, I don't know how to tell you this but uh, you kind of... started kissing me? In the middle of the room? You were saying something about a Minjun-"

 

"That's my ex. Jesus," Chanyeol says, rubbing his eyes in shame and frustration. "I was so drunk I must have mistaken you for him somehow - I'm so sorry, honestly - fuck. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you please let me know."

 

"You don't need to apologise, your little stunt helped me finally break up with my boyfriend." Chanyeol looks at him alarmed, but he simply shrugs. "Don't look so worried, it was a long time coming. We had a lot of other issues and him not believing me when I told him what actually happened was just the final nail in the coffin, I guess."

 

"I'm still really sorry," Chanyeol says, burning red now at the thought of his drunk actions.

 

"I told you don't worry about it, didn't I?" He grins, reaching for Chanyeol's arm and shaking it a little, teasing, but lingering for just long enough for Chanyeol to notice Baekhyun's meaningful stare. "So, what are you doing tonight? Going out with family?"

 

"I'm... kind of avoiding my family right now if I'm honest. I've been crashing at my friend's place for the last few days - you might know him, Kim Jongdae?"

 

"Yeah, I know him. Sorry about asking a personal question like that earlier." Chanyeol just shakes his head reassuringly. "But are you looking for a place to stay? I kicked my ex out so I have a free room and I still need to make rent."

 

"Are you sure? I could be a serial killer and you're inviting me into your house right now."

 

Baekhyun laughs, and Chanyeol thinks it's cute. Everything the guy does seems to be cute. "I may not look it, but I can defend myself just fine. Hapkido black belt. And you seem okay, and my intuition has never failed me before."

 

"Can I think about it?"

 

Baekhyun nods, and the voice of the other barista at the counter calls him back. In a few minutes Chanyeol is forced to scoot back out into the cold. "Closing time," Baekhyun says, letting Chanyeol exit before he too steps out. "Do you have any other plans tonight?"

 

"I'm going to see the fireworks by COEX with a couple of friends, you?"

 

"I was just going to go home," Baekhyun starts, but then his face cracks into a smirk. "Actually, I change my mind. You can make up for that kiss incident. Take me with you."

 

They don't talk much as they walk, but the silence is comfortable. The snow crunches under their feet as they leave footsteps behind them, ready to be snowed over or melt away. As they approach the building they see a substantial crowd of people waiting to watch the display. Chanyeol checks his watch. "Come on, the show's about to start."

 

Without thinking much, he takes Baekhyun's hand in his as he winds through the crowd, hurrying to the spot Jongdae had saved for them as the chants of the countdown begin. He gets one brief glance at Baekhyun as he pulls him through, and his heart skips a beat when he sees him smiling. They reach the spot, and Jongdae looks at them both, raising an eyebrow at Chanyeol who just laughs it off before joining in, hearing Baekhyun do so too right next to him.

 

"3, 2, 1..."

 

And maybe it's just their excitement, or maybe something more - their hands stay locked as the sky bursts into colour, and neither ever thinks to let go.

 


End file.
